On Fiction Writing Rules

The conversation was about the “rules.” Mr. McGrumpypants insisted that he knew what agents and editors wanted, despite having never actually landed an agent, and having only been “edited” by a very, very small press publisher who went out of business shortly thereafter, and many years later by a one-man shop “e-book publisher.”  In spite of  his extremely dismal sales numbers, he was quite adamant that his ability to have “sold” to a “publisher” gave him special insight that all others lacked, and if we’d only read Dwight Swain’s Techniques for the Selling Writer. we’d be enlightened and as successful as he.

The above took place on a forum in one my old haunts — an online writer’s community filled mostly with those desperate for publication. I found the same “debate” raging as when I left months before. Except it wasn’t exactly a debate, since all but one old sourpuss seemed to be in agreement.

I don’t claim to know what anyone wants. I’ve never landed an agent despite several “full manuscript requests” for Loisaida — A New York Story.  I know a few people who found agents who were enthusiastic about their work, but failed to sell it to editors. So apparently even those gatekeepers don’t always know what editors want.

I should know more. I have one of those MFA’s, but  I’ll tell you a dirty secret — at least back in the 1980’s when I got it, we almost never talked about publishing though we probably should have. That was at Sarah Lawrence. I’m pretty sure they were talking about publication at Columbia.

The truth is at this particular moment in publishing history, as I wrote months ago, “nobody knows anything.” Bookstores are closing, even the big chains that not so long ago devoured the independents. Some legitimately published writers like Stephen Leather are choosing Kindle to self-publish their old titles and the ones their agent couldn’t use. The success of a purely “indie” author like  Amanda Hocking is a shock to the system. Yet, yesterday I read a story of a first novel being published by a major house. It read like a fairytale, and was enough of an anomaly to make it to the pages of The New York Times, but is it sign that good books will always find a way?

As a reader, I know what I like. What I like isn’t formulaic. It bends and breaks “the rules” and does so with such grace that the writer makes it look as natural as Fred Astaire’s dancing.

As a reader who’s also a writer, it gives me a thrill to see the risks great writers take in their storytelling especially around “point of view” and “backstory.” Think of One Hundred Years of Solitude, which opens with a man about to be shot by a firing squad, remembering an incident from his childhood. Then we go into the “backstory” including the lives of several characters besides the man in front of the firing squad, and we don’t get back to the firing squad for another 200 pages or so.

More recently, Jonathon Franzen, pulls off a similar trick with Freedom which starts off with a distant narrator telling a story about some neighbors who moved away long ago and were recently involved in a “scandal” which we don’t get any details about. We then go back twenty years or so to when they first moved into the neighborhood. Later we go further into the past and then up to the present with shifting points of view including a journal in which the first person narrator refers to herself in the third person. Neat trick, that. We don’t find out about the “scandal” till around the last quarter of the book.

Then there’s James Hynes, whose novel Next almost stopped my heart. It’s a close third-person tale. The story itself takes place over the span of a single day. A man travels from one city to another for a job interview. We are privy not only to what occurs in real time, but his thoughts and memories. You know the rule about avoiding “info dumps” or “too much backstory?”  This is almost all “backstory” and it’s riveting. And while its ending is perfection, I can easily imagine an editor rejecting it for not being “upbeat.”

Warning: The following statements are purely the opinion of the blogger, and may not lead you to find an agent or write a bestseller. The following “advice” is meant for writers interested in honing their craft for non-commercial purposes:

I’m not advising that untested writers attempt the trickiest ways to tell a story, but I am suggesting to think more of guidelines than rules and not to be afraid to drive off road for a while. Even a failed experiment might teach you something, or yield unexpected results.

Writing guidelines can be simple and should be aimed at keeping the story moving. As Elmore Leonard helpfully suggests, “leave out the parts that readers tend to skip.” I would humbly add that most of us may need readers to tell us what those parts are, so its a good idea to  have some workshop buddies, or others whose reading skills we respect, who are willing to be honest with us, and it’s a good idea for all of us to be open to critique.

This brings me back to Sarah Lawrence, and one day in a writing workshop taught by the late great Grace Paley. There was a conversation about the short-hand “rules,” like  “show don’t tell,” which Paley joked she sometimes turned around. Someone brought up, “write what you know.” Paley replied that if you only wrote what you already knew, it would be boring, and then she stated the one rule that I always attempt to follow, “Write what you don’t know about what you know.”

To Serve Writers

I was over snooping around some aspiring writers’ site and it hit me.  People pay big bucks to get opinions on their work.  Back in my Authonomy days, I heard of writers spending hundreds of dollars for “critiques” by professional editing services.  One author published her critique, which basically advised her to dumb it down and sex it up.

Meantime, other writers at that site (owned an operated by Harper Collins UK, a Rupert Murdoch joint), spend an incredible amount of time trying to make it to the “Editor’s Desk” to get some junior editor’s review.  They don’t have to pay anything to get those reviews, but it means clawing your way to the top of a virtual slush pile by reading and often praising other people’s work.  If you calculate labor, it would be cheaper to just pay a freelance editor — though getting the opinion of an “authentic” but anonymous industry “insider” has a definite appeal.  Often what the editor has to say is not so different from what the more honest readers have been pointing out all along.  In some cases, it’s just plan wrong.  (HC panned and turned down at least one romance/mystery that’s been a bestseller in UK’s Kindle store for months and garnered much critical praise.)

Other aspirants pay hundreds for reviews by Kirkus Indies (formerly, Kirkus Discovery).  For $425, or $575 if you want shorter than a 7-9 week turnaround, someone whose name and qualifications you’ll never know will write an “official” review of your tome.  This isn’t exactly like hiring Michoko Kakutani to do the job.  But then again, why would you want to?  The idea behind Kirkus is that if it’s a good review. you can use it as part of your publicity if you self-publish.  People might mistake it for a “genuine” Kirkus review which will boost your sales because they have so much integrity.  They are now apparently working with Amazon’s Create Space to sell this awesome service.  If  the review stinks, you don’t have to publish it, and could theoretically use the critique to make changes or just take up origami or something.

Of course there are other options — creative writing workshops abound and are even available online if you live out in the boonies.  Most community colleges offer classes at reasonable rates.  Things being what they are, these classes may be taught by  “real” published authors.  This would be the best way to go if you’ve never taken a class or haven’t written in a long time, though not all published writers are decent teachers, and your classmates may or may not offer useful feedback.

Some people wind up throwing money away, falling for some slick ad, and going to an “editor” with nefarious credentials.  This might cost thousands.  And despite the “self-publishing revolution”, there are still all sorts making money off the desperate through “author services,” and “subsidized publishing.  Fake agents lurk all over the Internet and publishers who promise that you’ll “never” pay a dime will still somehow extract a few thousand before they’re done.  Best to check out all offers first!

So here’s my pitch.  I have one of those useless MFA’s degrees.  I was “real” published long ago, once.  I’ve taught writing.  I even  had a story edited for publication by an infamous and controversial professional editor.  (His method was basically to  cut the vital organs out of any story that came his way.)  I’m now a member of a collective of “independently published” rogue writers; some of whom are extremely talented (though I make no claims for myself).

I could use some money and I’ll undercut Kirkus and other services.  So how’s this:  I have no publishing connections and don’t work in the industry.  I can’t get my own work agented.   I can critique your work and give you an honest opinion on  plot, pacing, dialogue, writing mechanics and all that jazz.  You couldn’t pay me enough to actually proofread or edit it, but I can offer some tips and tell you whether or not you’re anywhere near ready to even go to an editor.  I can also tell you whether or not I found it compelling.  Believe it or not, the MOST likely reason an agent is going to reject your work, is simply because he or she found it boring.

I won’t promise you that if you do everything I say, you’ll get a contract.  The sad news is, you probably won’t get your novel published (by someone who isn’t you) unless you know someone or made sure to include vampires, zombies or  some kind of Jane Austen parody involving paranormal romance, or unless you’re a celebrity.  If you’re a celebrity, I’ll tell you the truth, which is more than you’re getting from your sycophantic assistant, but I’ll charge you double because you’re worth it, and you wouldn’t believe me if you thought I was cut-rate.

I can tell you if what you wrote is amazing, ordinary or embarrassing.  I could be wrong.  Most likely I am.   It’s entirely possible that you are a genius, and I just didn’t understand your work.  But then again, who am I anyway?  If I don’t like what I tell you,  you can always tell people that I’m a fraud and an idiot.

So let’s say $200 for a five-page crit of up to 300 double-spaced manuscript pages, and  $50 for each additional 100 pages (pro-rated).  Payable through Paypal with a 2-week turnaround.  (Add 20%  for rush jobs.)  Just respond with a comment if you’re interested.  I’ll be waiting to take your money.

Publishing on Kindle? Read the Fine Print

I put my novella, The  Death Trip up on Smashwords for free in November 2009 as my self-publishing “beta.”  I put it up separately on Kindle for 99 cents.  Since this was an experiment and I was simply hoping to attract readers, not make money, I would have happily put it on Kindle for free as well.   It was important to get it on Kindle as Amazon holds the biggest share of the e-book market and even though Smashwords theoretically “ships” its “premium catalog” books to the Kindle Store, they don’t actually seem to wind up there.

Many months later, I noticed that my novella had been made “free” on Kindle.  No e-mail to warn me. I just happened to check the sales reports and suddenly saw a big surge.  Through a Google search I found out about 50 books that had been free on Smashwords were now free on Amazon.  One blogger implied we were “caught” as though we were criminals.  It turns out that selling a physical or e-book version in any digital format at a lower price is a violation of the fine print of the Amazon contract. Like any “agreement” that one clicks on the web, this probably isn’t read carefully by most.

Meantime, sales started to boom for all the  recently liberated books as word of their status leaked into the blogoverse. Even though they had all been available at no cost in other venues including in the mobi format used on Kindle,  sales took off once the books became available on Amazon.   I “sold” more free Kindle versions in a few days then I had in a year of Smashwords downloads.  Meantime, when I checked my sales reports on the Amazon website, it looked like I was still getting paid for the free books.  Suddenly, my little novella is a best seller.  And then just as suddenly — within 6 days, it’s ninety-nine cents again, and the sales slip back down.   Despite seeing the sales reports, I didn’t quite believe Amazon would pay me for book sales on which they weren’t making a penny, but they did.   I got my 35 cents (35% royalty) on each freebie downloaded.   I made around $900 on the deal.  Other books remained free weeks longer and  topped the best seller lists on Kindle. It was a short-lived gold mine for some lucky authors.

But the question is: was it a mistake? A computer generated blip that cost Amazon money?  Or a plot by Amazon to create its own bestsellers and take over publishing?

In any case, it will happen no more.  I was just perusing the updated Amazon digital platform contract and they’ve closed the loophole.  Effective in February, they can (and probably will) lower the price to zero if they find out about a lower price elsewhere including free promotions and they will no longer pay royalties on the giveaways.  Oh, and there’s no appeal if they decide to free you book because somewhere on the web someone was giving it away.

I get Amazon’s not wanting to pay authors to give away books, but I don’t like their controlling self-published authors’ efforts to market themselves.  Giving away copies is a great way to attract readers, maybe even to get some reviews or buzz in various forums that discuss e0books.  Independent authors often offer  short-term promotions or give away PDF’s on their websites. These giveaways might be intended to reach a specific audience or the author may have a target number he or she wants to see in circulation.  But once the price is “free” on Amazon, they may not change it when it goes up elsewhere.  If a writer participates in a program like Operation E-book Drop which sends free downloads to deploying soldiers via the Smashwords “coupon” system, this too could be seen as a violation, especially if a coupon leaks out and winds up on a “free e-book” listing somewhere on the web.  If a writer tries to promote his/her book by making it free on Smashwords for a week or even a week-end, he/she may find that Kindle keeps it free for months.  The updated contract makes it very clear that there is no appeal when the price is dropped by Amazon because of matching.  Make no mistake, this isn’t simply about Amazon’s not wanting to pay royalties on free books, it’s about Amazon’s trying to control how writers sell their books elsewhere.  While one alternative  would simply be to not sell on Amazon,  micro-publishers are discovering like the small presses and big houses, that Amazon’s near monopoly on e-books makes that a not very feasible option.  The end result may be fewer free e-books for consumers and fewer promotions by authors.

So writers, beware.  Kindle has proved to be a boon to writers looking for a more even playing field.  It absolutely offers a chance to compete with the big boys and many “kindle authors” have done quite well.  But make no mistake about it, Amazon is a business.  It is not your friend.

Here’s an excerpt from the contract.  Anyone with a book on Kindle should go to their digital platform account and read all the fine print for themselves:

a. 35% Royalty Option.
i. The Royalty for the Digital Book will be 35% of the applicable List Price for the Digital Book.
ii. If you select the 35% Royalty Option for your Digital Book, you must set and adjust from time-to-time as necessary the Digital Book’s List Price so that the List Price, plus 15% (the statutory Luxembourg VAT rate) for sales to UK customers, is no higher than any of the following:
• the list price (i.e., the suggested or recommended retail price) for any digital or physical edition of the Digital Book in any sales channel; or
• if you sell a digital or physical edition of the Digital Book directly to end users, the price at which you sell that edition to end users.
iii. From time to time your Digital Book may be made available through other sales channels as part of a free promotion. It is important that Digital Books made available through the Program have promotions that are on par with free promotions of the same book in another sales channel. Therefore, if your Digital Book is available through another sales channel for free, we may also make it available for free. If we match a free promotion of your Digital Book somewhere else, your royalty during that promotion will be zero.

Sarah Palin — Whiney Victim

According to certain opinion-makers, anyone who suggests that Palin (and others) might consider toning down their rhetoric a bit, is now guilty of “blood libel.” Yes, it’s a pogrom being waged against Sarah — a virtual holocaust of blame for this Princess of Peace. She should lock up her daughters before the Cossacks beat down the doors.

As the wagons circle around the little lady from Alaska, I keep coming back to this clip from those long-ago days when the only Palin we’d heard of was the one who sold dead parrots:

Back then Sarah was tough. She felt women should learn to take the heat, and it did nobody any good for them to whine about the press.

Isn’t it kind of sexist that her honor is being defended so gallantly by male pundits while she hardly says a word? Shouldn’t the lady herself issue a statement? A direct one, not an aside to Glenn Beck as though she’s now too fragile to speak to everyone at once. Why she’d just die! Faint dead away! Delicate flower that she is…

Of course the national conversation shouldn’t even be about Palin, or Beck.  There shouldn’t even be a conversation about turning down the volume or taking away offensive graphics.   The volume part should have happened organically on both sides. Everyone should have just shut up for a while, followed by a few bowed heads and contrite statements about doing better in the future.

After that, the opinion makers should have started talking about the necessary steps to prevent something like this from happening again, and the lawmakers should have gotten busy drafting proposals to that effect. Imagine if Boehner and Pelosi announced bipartisan support for bringing back an automatic weapons ban or at least a plan that would keep weapons out of the hands of the mentally ill?   Can’t you see John and Nancy walking up to a podium together to make an announcement?  They’re calling it Christina’s Bill for the youngest victim.

I’m sorry, I must have been conscious dreaming for a moment.

Wouldn’t it be terrific if instead of trying to repeal the health care bill that finally passed, Congress looked at the laws regarding community mental health organizations and strengthened them?  Came up with consistent policies to be administered on a state and county level for dealing with the people suffering from mental illness? Imagine if we had had guidelines so that Loughner would have been subject to an outreach visit and emergency evaluation back when he was exhibiting bizarre behavior at the community college?  Even follow up care and treatment?

Oh, did I fall asleep at the keyboard again?

Palin may or may not be running for President in 2012. My guess is, that she’s not. She may realize that it’s dangerous out there. But wouldn’t now be the time for anyone who wants to lead, to begin?

UPDATE 1/12/2011 — This post and the previous one were both written during Palin’s time of silent reflection before she released her video in which she herself accused her detractors of “blood libel.” Of course her statement was issued after the conversation had pretty much turned away from her and moved on to more relevant topics such as gun laws, mental health and the political climate in general. Her use of the phrase in this context must be taken as deliberate, incendiary and desperate. It once again propels her onto center stage.

Second UPDATE: It now appears that after statements from the ADL and other Jewish organizations, Sarah has now removed the blood libel video. This is truly perplexing. Clearly, whoever wrote her speech knew what he or she was doing. How could her handlers not have expected this reaction?  Unless of course they did expect it.  The plot thickens, and sickens.

Third Update:  She’s re-realised the video.  Newly edited,  but with the “blood libel” still left in.  And now with what sounds like more references to God.  I officially give up and will leave tracking this woman’s every utterance to the pundits who get paid to do it.

Sarah Palin’s Brave New World

A few weeks ago while still feeling the sting of Obama’s “tax compromise” with the Republicans*, I made this comment over at Wonkette:

If only it were possible for someone, a persuasive speech-maker perhaps, someone with the type of communication and narrative skills that would propel him or her to high office, to explain to the American people over some kind mass communication device that they are being royally screwed by the Republicans who are clearly working in the best interest of billionaires and not those of millions of working people. Perhaps they could hire Sarah Palin to do the job?

My tongue was of course firmly planted in my cheek.  No one on the left will ever come up with enough cash to equal Palin’s compensation as a right-wing demagogue.   But I wasn’t kidding about her communication skilz.  It doesn’t matter that she makes up words and can’t string a sentence together.  She’s like a bestselling author whose trashy tales are bought by millions of people who don’t normally read books.  Obama might give “better” speeches, but more people read Dan Brown than Cormac McCarthy.

The gunman may be a lone nut with no Tea Party affiliation, but he certainly has absorbed the messages put out by the lunatic-right  —  (1) we are being taken over by the forces of darkness (2) there are plans to change the currency and the only true currency is the gold standard (3) the government take over includes “Death Panels” (4) Obama is a foreign usurper, not a natural born citizen; thus the entire government has no legitimate claim.

Not only have right wing politicians and pundits put these ideas into the air, they have also offered solutions, such as failed-Senate candidate Sharon Angle’s suggestion that “second amendment remedies” are a possibility if the ballot box doesn’t do the trick.  Sarah Palin infamous “crosshairs” map “targeted” Congressional districts including Gifford’s.  Palin’s spokesperson, Rebecca Mansour has stated that there was no connection to guns in the use of crosshairs, but to “surveyor’s maps,” an assertion that is not only absurd on its face, but contradicted by Palin’s own words to her followers, “Don’t retreat. Reload.”

People have the right to put out these messages, but usually it was people on the fringe talking this craziness.  These were not ideas endorsed by former major party candidates for the vice presidency  The fact that a major television network on which political leaders often appear promotes these ideas as well,  is also something we haven’t seen before.

To pretend that this isn’t a change, is naive.  To believe that this isn’t a deliberate attempt to mislead and frighten people is to bury one’s head in the sand.  To think that putting all this in the air won’t lead a few of the more frightened and less rational to act violently is to deny reality and history.  This wasn’t the first event of its kind over the past year, simply the most dramatic.**

Rallies will not restore sanity.  If responsible leaders in the conservative movement had the courage to speak up, maybe they could help. The new Speaker of The House refuses to deal with the “birthers” in his own delegation, insisting he has no right to tell people what to think.  So they will continue to say aloud that the President is a foreign usurper who stole his office, and so will television personalities on Fox News.  Eventually, of course some lunatic who has listened and absorbed the message, will attempt a “second amendment remedy,” while Palin, Beck and all the birthers will deny that their words had any impact.

Some people are proclaiming that the “smoking gun” of the crosshairs map, has finished Palin.  They are wrong.  She’s far from finished.  TLC may have cancelled Palin’s reality show and the map has disappeared, but her supporters are now playing the victim card, accusing liberals and the “gotcha” media of viciously attacking her by linking her to Saturday’s events.  Any rational debate on whether or not words are dangerous is now considered a left-wing attempt to malign a true American.  Her Faceback supporters comment on the liberal haters who are trying to “politicize” a tragedy.  The Wall Street Journal*** has weighed in with an opinion piece in which the writer labels criticism of Palin “blood libel.”  So the mere suggestion that Palin might want to rethink her rhetoric, is akin to medieval Christian villagers killing Jews who they accused of sacrificing Christian children?

Palin was never going to have enough popular support to win a general election, but with Rupert Murdoch’s behind her, her power and influence will continue to grow.  She is a raging fire, burning everything in her path.

_______________________________________________________
*This was before the lame-duck Congress managed to get a lot of stuff done and it became apparent that the administration did in fact have a strategy, even if it involved skyrocketing the deficit.  Why does Obama always make me feel like an abused spouse who gets flowers the day after a smack down?

**Last August during the height of the anti-mosque rhetoric, a Moslem taxi driver was slashed by a drunken passenger.  Other incidents happened in mosques throughout the country.  Gifford’s office had previously had a window busted in.  Other congressional representatives and senators have also received threats due to votes on “Obamacare.”

***The Wall Street Journal is now under the ownership of Rubert Murdoch who also owns the right-wing cable station Fox News which features her as a pundit.  Murdoch also controls Harper Collins, her publisher