Happy New Year.

In addition to bringing you essential information about topics like getting cheap seats at the Met Opera, and writing high quality television recaps over on Happy Nice Time People where I will be handling Downton Abbey beginning Sunday night (We yanks still haven’t seen season 5) and Better Call Saul come February, I also write the fiction.

Sometimes I even read the fiction aloud in front of people, like in this photo to your left taken at a real event in New York City!

I don’t usually come out and say “BUY MY BOOKS” because you wouldn’t listen anyway, but I am going to tell you about them now because I am desperate what the hell. You may have been coming here for years reading about my geriatric dog who had cushing’s disease, or some of my so-called “humor,” so I’m figuring you owe me would be really interested in my stuff which can generally be had in electronic form real cheap. (I can also be had in electronic form real cheap but that is another matter and you will need to email me for details.)

Here is a brief listing of the fiction o’ mine. You may be hung over and lazy today, so why don’t you go over to the Amazon and check out the reviews and upload the FREE samples:

Blood Diva –  This is the first time I have publicly come out on this blog as the author of this work. As many of you know, it feels better after you come out unless you live in one of the 29 states where you can be fired from your job for doing so. Blood Diva is a racy vampire novel for people who don’t necessarily like vampire novels. There is no “sparkling” here.  Opera lovers and classic cinema fans seem to like it as the protagonist is Marie Duplessis – the woman on whom Camille and La Traviata are based. There are cameos by Maria Callas and Louise Brooks. People who are NOT opera lovers love it too. Some people have compared it to Anne Rice and have called it a “game-changer.” The ebook is only $3.99 and the paperback is discounted on Amazon. You can read more about it and see some great offers on the book’s website.

Loisaida – Is a novel of gentrification and its discontents, set in Manhattan’s pre-gentrified East Village and inspired by true events, including the so-called “police riots” and a crime so ghastly it became the stuff of legend.  If you live in the East Village now and want to know what it was like then, this is the book for you. If you lived through New York City’s bad old days and still miss the edge, you’ll enjoy the read. The words “gritty” and “stunning” come up a lot in reviews. There is no way I can write about it without sounding insufferable, so maybe you should just read what other people had to say either on Amazon or here.

Schrodinger’s Telephone is a novella about grief and loss. Lizzie has the perfect life until one day she doesn’t. It’s nominally “speculative fiction” but mostly it’s a story you can read in one sitting on just about any electronic device, and it might make you cry. This is probably the least “controversial” of anything I’ve written. There’s no explicit sex or violence. Here is something someone said about it on Amazon:

“A beautifully-written novella, Ms Stein has captured the overwhelming loss of a loved one, along with the alternating feelings of despair, wistfulness, grief, faith, powerlessness, and hope of those left behind. The details, pacing, and construction are perfectly executed. A lovely, poignant story.”

The Death Trip is another quick read novella for those who hate to commit. It’s light reading about Big Pharma conspiracies and euthanasia. Paranoid? You’ll love it!

So, I know you got hit up a lot for charitable contributions over the last month, and I can’t offer you a tax deduction, but if you’ve ever been ENTERTAINED by any of my posts, please check out the fiction and if you don’t want to spend your hard earned monies, maybe you could tweet about one of these fine works or something. Much obliged.