Category Archives: Politics and Culture

Trump Shoots Elmo in Times Square: One Dead, Several Wounded

At a rally this evening in New York’s Times Square, Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump shot and killed Elmo impersonator David Sayville in front of a crowd of several thousand people. Six others were wounded in the incident, including a six year old child who was standing next to “Elmo” at the time, and a secret service agent who attempted to disarm Mr. Trump. The incident occurred shortly after Mr. Trump groped and squeezed the breasts of Lily Lopez, a topless “entertainer” whose chest had been painted red, white, and blue with the familiar stars and stripes.

“I love the flag. What can I say?” joked Mr. Trump, minutes before the shooting. “We have the best flag, don’t we?”

Sayville, reportedly a friend of Lopez’s, became enraged and started shouting obscenities at the candidate. Mr. Trump implored the crowd to “Take care of this guy,” but when no one obliged, he pulled out a Glock handgun and Continue reading Trump Shoots Elmo in Times Square: One Dead, Several Wounded

A Modest Border Proposal

pot picSo I’m reading  The New York Times — because that’s the kind of elitist New York Jewy-Jew “cosmopolitan” that I am.There’s an article about Arizona ranchers whose land is regularly used as a border crossing by both immigrants and drug cartels. By “drugs” they mean marijuana by the way. The ranchers think the wall idea is stupid, but they’d like intensive patrols. The issue for them is that immigrants wind up dying on their land, and drug cartels are scary and murderous. They don’t seem to believe, contrary to what we granola crunching Kumbayah types might suspect they believe based on watching the RNC,  that Mexico is sending over its rapists and murderers.  They just don’t like people trespassing on their way to a better life plus littering and/or dying of thirst or starvation, but their big beef is with the cartels — who have actually murdered and kidnapped people on their property. Despite thinking that Trump’s wall is “silly”, they also hate Hillary on account of she’s going to take their guns away and/or is in league with Satan, and will surely just open up the borders for everyone because commies don’t respect private property rights as proven by the War of Northern Agression. Actually, the article isn’t that clear on exactly what their issue is with Hillary, but they do quote a rancher as saying  if she wins he’s moving to Australia — which he might want to do a little research on first seeing as how they took away their citizens’ guns years ago. Then again, Australia is an island continent so people can’t get there by cutting through your fence.

Anyway, since the Democratic platform is NOT proposing taking away everyone’s guns (despite the right wing press having quite a good time quoting that one lady on the platform committee saying she thinks that’s a swell idea) or opening up the border for all,  it does seem that the dems are missing an opportunity. They could actually address the concerns of the ranchers and take them seriously — which would be a big deal to these guys since they don’t feel anyone has listened to them. But they go further and cut into the appeal of libertarians like Gary Johnson, and help not just those ranchers, but small farmers and would be entrepreneurs in these United States by  proposing legalizing marijuana,  with an emphasis on promoting (with policy) homegrown by small farmers in the US of A. Oh wait a second, the DEMS are already supporting legalization!  Well, they  need to go further, and link it to the border security and economic enhancement issue, and maybe, you know, tell people about it.

(Thus endeth today’s rant. If you enjoyed this please check out more stuff on this blog, or help me out by checking out my cheap books.)

 

This Week’s Neologism

belchschmerz (noun) /belCH SHmerts/ — A particularly  annoying symptom of gastric reflux, wherein one continually emits gas from the stomach through the mouth, while experiencing a sense of unwellness and slight but persistent feelings of nausea (which may or may not be existential in origin). Belchschmerz can be brought on by food or as a result of stress and angst.

Examples:

I’m cancelling our lunch due to a flare up of belchschmerz.

I can’t read anymore news about the US elections. It’s giving me belchschmerz.

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The Truth About Kitler and Chaplin Cats

There has been some confusion. This is a Chaplin cat.

The Chaplin cat or False-Kitler, is often mistaken for the Kitler, due to their both having distinctive mustaches and an unfortunate resemblance. HOWEVER, please note that Chaplins lack the distinctive Kitler, “side part” and the Kitler propensity for waving the paw high in the air. Chaplin cats are SILENT as a rule, and whacky rather than evil. Chaplin’s while territorial, have never been known to invade Poland.

Here is a Kitler. This little girl went viral a few years ago when a shelter reported that her looks were preventing her from getting adopted. Won’t anybody think of the poor Kitlers? Notice the tendency to raise the paw, as well as the side part. Kitler’s are IRONIC, rather than evil. Let’s hope this little girl eventually found a good home:

What do these two variations (They are NOT breeds) have in common?

Adorableness! That’s what. Both make excellent pets as do most members of felis silvestris catus.

(Now that your heart has been warmed by this lovely post, please feel free to continue exploring this  site. In lieu of donations or “tips,” check out the author’s work-for-sale here, and feel free to buy a book. All funds received will go toward cat food.)

Riced Out: Manufacturing Outrage Part II

As promised, this is Part II of my examination of how Anne Rice is now peddling her rants about “gangster bullies” on the internet by adding charges of “political correctness” to the mix. Please read Part I if you haven’t already. It will save us both time.

But first enjoy this pretty picture of a sunset. And take a deep breath. You’ll need it.

This is what I almost missed trying to write this post.

Why am I doing this? How are these my monkeys? What do I care if someone is wrong on the internet? Read on and I’ll think you get it.

Continue reading Riced Out: Manufacturing Outrage Part II