This week on Deutschland 83, after taking dating advice from his aunt, Martin’s love life becomes complicated. Alex and the General exchange words at a family celebration. Renate drinks. Yvonne meditates. And the world moves one step closer to nuclear annihilation. (To read my entire fascinating recap and analysis, please don’t wait another second, and go to HNTP NOW.)

Isn’t it funny (because it’s true) when old people have trouble with technology? Like that time you were in Florida and tried to get nana on Facebook. But then she got it. Thank you for ruining Facebook! But sometimes they never get it, like your uncle who’s not even that old and still has AOL and no longer answers the phone because his palm sweat shorted out the touchscreen. Now watch as old-timey cable network, Lifetime fails to understand the basics of streaming. (To see my entire under 1000 words about this, please click to visit Happy Nice time People Now.)

FOX Television, the people who brought you Wayward Pines, a series about a small town where things aren’t what they seem, has now unveiled Gone, which the network is hawking as a “Wayward Pines companion series.” But Gone harbors it’s own dark secret, which I have uncovered. Read my complete expose on HNTP and save yourself half an hour. You can thank me later.