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Coming Soon on CBS

Here about the one about the Czech “educational” show that sends a family “back in time” to that country’s Nazi occupation? It’s not a joke it’s reality television. How long till America follows suit? Not long at all according to these exclusive leaked emails!

From: Leslie Moonves

To: Nina Tassler

Date: June 7, 2015

Nina Baby,

Did you catch the NY Times piece re this new Czech reality show, Holiday in the Protectorate? A family is sent “back in time” to a rural village in 1939 – milk the cows, outdoor plumbing that kind of “educational television” shtick, but the kicker is it’s under Nazi occupation. Gestapo kicking in the door. Neighbors are informers. Rationing. What would you do to survive? Prize money.

Anything down the pike for a US version? Ideas?

From: Nina Tassler

To: Mark Burnett

Date: June 7, 2015

Mark Hon,

Forwarding you LM’s memo. Is there a chance of getting Bruce on the phone? I know he’s stuck in Mexico doing 10 to 12, but I heard the two of you are working on something contemporary for the Latin American market. Thoughts?

(To read the rest click here.)

Schrodinger’s Telephone is FREE

A while back I wrote a blog post about how I think Kindle Select is not such a great idea for authors. I still think that, but I decided to give Schrodinger’s Telephone one more shot in the system. The results are so far zero paid borrows. That’s right 0. I have actually SOLD a couple of copies in the 60 days that it’s been in the program, which given that it’s a 2 year old novella written by an obscure hack like me, isn’t so terrible. I will be removing it from the Select program when it’s time is up in May and will make it available on Kobo and those other places where nobody ever buys my books,  but meantime I’m taking advantage and offering it for FREE to interested readers (from April 2-6).So just go over to Amazon if you’d like and download it now. It’s a short read novella. There’s no obligation but I’m hoping if you like it you might buy one of my other works, or maybe write a review. Reviews are good because allegedly or so I’ve been told they make your books more visible on Amazon and more people will buy them. Also I have no plans to make any of my other books free to the general public — as that would mean having them on Amazon exclusively which I don’t want to do. HOWEVER, reviews are good, so if you can promise me one — on Amazon especially and/or on your blog or other places, I would certainly consider sending you a review copy even if you don’t work for some fancypants magazine and are just a reader, so please take a look at the samples on Amazon and drop me a line letting me know what book you’d be interested in reading and reviewing.

Floors I Have Made

It started, as things often do, with the bathroom. Ours was and still is circa 1957. We had the bright yellow tiles that were the legacy of every apartment in our complex. After years of thinking, “Someday I will renovate,” I realized that day was unlikely to ever come. But I decided I had to do something, so I put up some textured paintable “tin ceiling tile” wallpaper, with textured paintable “stucco” wallpaper on the ceiling, and I used colors that would make the yellow look intentional.

But what about the floor? It had gray, small, plain, concrete tiles. Neutral, but dull. They weren’t going anyplace, so whatever I was going to do would have to go above them, and I wanted something even a novice DIYer could handle. I didn’t think that vinyl planks, even colorful ones, would be an improvement. So I went for more wallpaper.

The internet showed me that I was not insane. Wallpaper floors are a thing. You just have to coat them with enough polyurethane. Think of your hardwood floors. What happens to untreated wood when it gets wet? What happens to your polished floor when it gets wet? You aren’t walking on wood. You are walking on hardened liquid plastic.

I decided on a floral pattern with colors close the ones I’d used. I did not prep the floor in any way beyond a thorough cleaning. I used the “professional” standard wallpaper paste and Vermont Natural water-based polyurethane – a green product manufactured from whey.

How’s it holding up?   Continue reading Floors I Have Made

But What can I Get for a Kidney?

Republican cream puff Sue Lowden who’s running against Harry Reid in Nevada has suggested that a simple solution to the health care crisis.  No need for socialized “Obamacare.”  Let’s go back to the “olden days” when you could bring your doctor a chicken or paint his house.

She really said this.

I’m so thrilled that the Republicans are finally offering real ideas instead of simply going negative.  What brilliance this woman has!  Only someone from the true heartland of America, a place known for openness to new ideas about revenue streams like gambling and prostitution could look backwards to the future and come up with something like this.

The only problem is that I live in an urban area where most people don’t keep livestock (except for ritualistic purposes).  So without a chicken, is my medical goose cooked?  She also suggests housepainting, but that could take out my back which would just lead to more need for medical care.

I suppose if I were going in for surgery, I could simply allow the doctor to take out any extra parts — like say a kidney or slice of liver for exchange.  Women under 35 could offer their eggs which go for a lot on the open market and could probably cover a healthy family for a year. I suppose if we’re going to look for models in  the “olden days” — the days before credit cards, bankruptcy and insurance, we could go back to the ultimate barter item — oneself.   Yes, if faced with a serious illness and no other option, one could opt for indentured servitude and/or giving away one’s first born.  (If you can’t afford to pay the doctor, you probably shouldn’t be raising a child anyway.)