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Trump Shoots Elmo in Times Square: One Dead, Several Wounded

At a rally this evening in New York’s Times Square, Republican presidential nominee Donald J. Trump shot and killed Elmo impersonator David Sayville in front of a crowd of several thousand people. Six others were wounded in the incident, including a six year old child who was standing next to “Elmo” at the time, and a secret service agent who attempted to disarm Mr. Trump. The incident occurred shortly after Mr. Trump groped and squeezed the breasts of Lily Lopez, a topless “entertainer” whose chest had been painted red, white, and blue with the familiar stars and stripes.

“I love the flag. What can I say?” joked Mr. Trump, minutes before the shooting. “We have the best flag, don’t we?”

Sayville, reportedly a friend of Lopez’s, became enraged and started shouting obscenities at the candidate. Mr. Trump implored the crowd to “Take care of this guy,” but when no one obliged, he pulled out a Glock handgun and Continue reading Trump Shoots Elmo in Times Square: One Dead, Several Wounded