Tag Archives: self-publishing humor

Sh*t Your Friends Say When You Tell Them You Self-Published

Shit your friends say when you tell them you self-published:

“Is it real published?”

“It’s great to have a hobby!”

“You earned what? Do you know how little money that is?”

“No, haven’t got around to reading it yet.”

“It’s not you. I haven’t read fiction in years”

“It’s nice to have dreams, isn’t it?”

“It’s on my list!”

“99 cents? You’re joking, aren’t you?”

“Did you try sending it out?”

“I have too many published books to read.”

“These people are strangers?” (Referring to good reviews.)

“Maybe you should mention it on Facebook.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t mention it on Facebook.”

“People are buying that?”

“400 downloads your first month? You do understand that for a published book that’s nothing.”

“I guess you were really desperate.”

“Isn’t it possible all those agents were trying to tell you something?”

“Now a real publisher will never look at your work.”

“I don’t read e-books.” Then when told it’s in paperback, some other shit.

“You mean like that crazy lady that went viral?”

“For a second, I thought you were serious.”

“I’m so sorry!”