{"id":4414,"date":"2016-11-10T12:41:46","date_gmt":"2016-11-10T17:41:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/?p=4414"},"modified":"2016-11-10T13:14:24","modified_gmt":"2016-11-10T18:14:24","slug":"investors-wanted-protect-your-lady-parts-with-the-smart-belt-for-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/?p=4414","title":{"rendered":"Investors Wanted — Protect Your Lady Parts with the Smart Belt for Women"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"iron_chastity_belt_europe_wellcome_l0058586\"<\/a>With the election of the Pussy-Grabber in Chief as President and the empowerment of his alt-right gamergate bros \u00a0no vagina is safe. \u00a0This isn’t your mama’s rape culture. It’s open season on women. The modern gal can expect her subway ride to be a grabfest, and don’t look for protection in the work place, you whiny bitch! Ha-ha-ha! It’s so cute when you get red-faced and indignant. Take is as a compliment! Get another job why don’t ya? Besides it’s all in good fun, right? It’s not like you own<\/em> your vagina.<\/p>\n

But ladies, don’t lose hope! A solution is at hand. I’m looking for investors to help bring back the chastity belt. Not the old-timey oppressive kind where men held the key, but a new belt for a new time that you can proudly wear over or under your clothes, a belt that puts you in charge. A Smart Belt<\/strong>\u00a0(Trademark). No more messy urine holes! You simply slip the thing off to pee, or when it’s time to talk to your boss about a promotion.<\/p>\n

The prototype is still being developed, but since the point is to keep grubby stubby fingers from entering the inner sanctum — or even making direct contact with it, we are probably looking for a strong, but light-weight, rust-proof rigid metal. (I hear you can that kind of thing cheap from China.) \u00a0Something that can be welded into a shape that won’t interfere with walking, running, yoga, Pilates or other daily activities.<\/p>\n

Money is needed for development. We could use\u00a0some design ideas for belts that can be worn during the day or in the evening. Belts that make a statement! \u00a0Belts that tease and belts that just say no. Designer belts and knock-offs.<\/p>\n

Does anyone have a line to Ivanka?\u00a0Something tells me\u00a0she’d be interested.<\/p>\n

(Please say thank you for the blogs by visiting the Amazon<\/a> where you can find my cheap books.)<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With the election of the Pussy-Grabber in Chief as President and the empowerment of his alt-right gamergate bros \u00a0no vagina is safe. \u00a0This isn’t your mama’s rape culture. It’s open season on women. The modern gal can expect her subway ride to be a grabfest, and don’t look for protection in the work place, you … Continue reading Investors Wanted — Protect Your Lady Parts with the Smart Belt for Women<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_sitemap_exclude":false,"_sitemap_priority":"","_sitemap_frequency":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[55],"tags":[253,1329,1330],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4414"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=4414"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4414\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4422,"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4414\/revisions\/4422"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=4414"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=4414"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.marioninnyc.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=4414"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}