Honestly, some people would say that as a “political wife” Maria Shriver, even if she didn’t know the details of her husband’s fathering a child with the help, still knew\u00a0 she was married to an out of control narcissist with a woman problem.<\/p>\n
Still, it wasn’t just about blind ambition.\u00a0 She’s not a bad person.\u00a0 She grew up in a family that not only worked<\/em>, but believed in the value of doing good. \u00a0 Her father invented the Peace Corps.\u00a0 Her mother created<\/em> the Special Olympics.\u00a0 Not to mention the rest of the family.\u00a0 Those are some heavy boots to fill, and Maria worked her whole life.<\/p>\n She’s still working. Here she is talking about “transitions<\/a>” on the Youtube. (You’ll have to go there; unlike her husband, the link is unembedable.)\u00a0 She’s wants to know how other women handled their big life changes,\u00a0 but I’ve got some advice specific to her situation.<\/p>\n Sorry, Maria, if you are googling yourself, and who doesn’t? I’m not saying this to be unkind, but honey, you a mess!\u00a0 And why shouldn’t you be?\u00a0 The year you’ve had!\u00a0 To begin with you’re 55.\u00a0 Probably still having that unsettling hormone shitstorm. I’ve been there, girlfriend!\u00a0 Second, your father died after struggling with Alzheimer’s. Your mom died in 2009, but let me tell you, when the second parent goes, it feels like your losing the other one all over again. \u00a0\u00a0 And no matter how prepared you thought you were, there’s always a ton of stuff to straighten out, not to mention the emotional dust bowl that gets stirred up.<\/p>\n Your husband just lost his job, except he can go back to his old one of being a movie star.\u00a0 And it just hit you that while you were perfectly typecast for the role of political wife, movie star wife — not so much.\u00a0 He used you while he was playing the Gobernator. Even your wonderful kids were props.\u00a0 You played the role of the supportive spouse, defending him from charges of being gropy.\u00a0 But you weren’t playing.\u00a0 It was your life.\u00a0 Kind of like that doofus Diana, not getting it even when Charles had that awkward, “whatever love is” moment with the reporters.<\/p>\n Did you know or even suspect he’d fathered a child with one of the “household staff”?\u00a0 Not bloody likely.\u00a0 It’s not just denial.\u00a0 He may not have been the world’s most convincing actor, but he convinced you<\/em>.\u00a0 He played to your vanity the way narcissists do and gave you a chance to be a bigger star than any of your cousins.<\/p>\n And the audacity of the deception — a married woman, showing up pregnant for work, in your home<\/em>.<\/p>\n Of course you didn’t know, baby.\u00a0 Even a Kennedy wouldn’t put up with that shit, and you are only a Kennedy on your mother’s side.\u00a0 Your father was a decent sort who knew how to treat women.<\/p>\n So hubby waits until his political career is over to give you the news.\u00a0 He’s in transition too.\u00a0 He’s now going to be an aging action hero.\u00a0 At 63, he probably still has a couple of good leading roles left.\u00a0 They had to kill off Sarah Connor for T-3, because maybe Linda Hamilton’s arms got flabby, but look at Harrison Ford or Sean Connery.\u00a0 Does Arnold have the new wife picked out yet?\u00a0 The way he picked you out?\u00a0\u00a0 Katie Holmes might be good, pretty, but non-threatening, won’t make a bigger entrance than him, but she’s not available.<\/p>\n Welcome to the First Wives Club, Maria!\u00a0 What took you so long?<\/p>\n You didn’t leave on your terms.\u00a0 By telling you about the affair and the child, Arnold was essentially saying, “Of course we can work it out, but you’d be humiliated and laughed at forever.”\u00a0 It was a no choice\/choice.\u00a0 Like NBC moving you from Dateline to a new position as the weather girl on a local station in Iowa.<\/p>\n So here you are on your website talking to women about transitions and wanting to know how other women have handled them.\u00a0 It’s days before the official announcement and you are already working, thinking of writing a book about it.\u00a0 Why not?\u00a0 That’s how you handled your father’s senility.<\/p>\n But here’s the thing, Maria.\u00a0 You need to take some time.\u00a0 You need a vacation from being you.\u00a0 Stop, doing what Maria Shriver would do.\u00a0 I get it, you’ve got kids.\u00a0 Your youngest is only what 14, the same age as the little . . .<\/p>\n Take a breath.\u00a0 Sure it’s a very tough time for the children.\u00a0 That’s what big supportive extended families are for.\u00a0 Drop them off at one of your cousin’s for a month or two.\u00a0 That Caroline, she’s a rock.<\/p>\n Then get the hell out of Dodge.\u00a0 Dump your celebrity.\u00a0 There are places in the world where you if you introduced yourself as Maria Fitzgerald no one would question it.\u00a0 Try Thailand or India.\u00a0 I’m not talking about backpacking and Rough Guiding it, but don’t go with an entourage or a plan.\u00a0 You could do worse than spend a couple of weeks at a yoga retreat.\u00a0 Or might I suggest, a fasting cleanse on Ko Samui with daily facials, chi-gong, Iyengar yoga classes, and colonics?\u00a0 You could drink coconut milk (as long as you don’t eat the shreds) on a lovely balcony with an ocean view and walk around unrecognized browsing in the traditional night market.\u00a0 I know just the place.<\/a> Do you a world of good.\u00a0 Follow it up with a week or two of silent meditation at a Buddhist monastery.\u00a0 They won’t make you do anything a good Catholic shouldn’t.<\/p>\n After that you could hit some place on your bucket list, maybe a beach of astounding beauty like the one they kept looking for in Y Tu Mama Tambi\u00e9n<\/em>, in some backwater you never even heard of.\u00a0 I’m not suggesting that you hook up with a young local a la Charlotte Rampling in Going South<\/em>, but there’s a good chance you could find an age appropriate ex-pat, maybe not one with the physical endowments of your ex, but probably one who won’t want much more than your company and will treat you with the respect you deserve.<\/p>\n Live a little, Maria, it’s your turn!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Honestly, some people would say that as a “political wife” Maria Shriver, even if she didn’t know the details of her husband’s fathering a child with the help, still knew\u00a0 she was married to an out of control narcissist with a woman problem. Still, it wasn’t just about blind ambition.\u00a0 She’s not a bad person.\u00a0 … Continue reading How Maria Shriver Can Get Her Groove Back<\/span>