Welcome to Wayward Pines. It’s got a two word title and northwestern exposure like Twin Peaks, people are stuck in a mysterious place like Lost, and it has secret agents like The Prisoner. The only things missing are humor, originality, wit and irony. But it’s produced  by M. Night Shymalen, the Ed Wood of the 21st century so what did you expect?

Let’s open with an eye opening because if you make it more bloodshot than Jack’ eye on Lost then it totally isn’t a rip off. It’s homage. Also while the character is wearing Jack’s suit, he’s upside down so that’s original! Who does the eye belong to? Matt Dillon, a man who hasn’t been in a movie anyone’s seen for so long that his brother is now famouser than he is. Welcome to television, Matt! Hey wouldn’t that be an interesting concept? Over-the-hill actor is driving with his assistant. They get into a car accident and the actor wakes up as a character in the world’s most hackneyed television program. He keeps trying to call his agent to get him out of there, but they’ve taken away his phone and everyone refers to him as the character, and they won’t let him leave the set. Oh shit! I didn’t just guess the ending, did I? (Please read the rest of this at HNTP where TV is your friend.)